she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
