There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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