Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
