bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
