The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
