i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
jump out the window naked night went bad
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
