Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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