i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
