It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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