Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
