So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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