Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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