I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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