Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize