Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
