it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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