At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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