cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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