My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
