what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
