Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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