Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish i was in the wii world.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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