You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
