Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
