So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize