Sry I called you an 8
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
