dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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