do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
