if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
