you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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