College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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