dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
