"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
