so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
