you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
