i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
