i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
