I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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