Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
