hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
