party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize