Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
