and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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