the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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