love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
