apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
