After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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