CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
