We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
its liver damage thursday
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
