I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
