just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
