Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
