Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize