all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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