I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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