So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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