I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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