We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
