I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
