It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
