They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
