the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
