therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
